I'm bored in the house and in the house bored. So? Fic. Spoilers for The Good Place, obviously

The neighborhood was in complete chaos. Everyone's clothes were a zig-zag blue and gold. Shrimp flew through the air and a giraffe stampede was mowing down much of the foliage and destroying various frozen yogurt stands.

Eleanor watched it all happen in a hum-drum manner as she drank her coffee and yawned. Meanwhile her "soulmate" Chimi Anaconda was completely freaking out.

"HOW IN THE WORLD IS THIS NOT BOTHERING YOU?"

"I don't know what to tell you, man," Eleanor said with a shrug. "This kind of shirt happened all the time in high school."

"... WHAT THE HECK KIND OF HIGH SCHOOL DID YOU GO TO?!"

**************

Eleanor sat in her chair and FUMED. If it were possible, literal smoke would be coming out of her ears right now. She sold everything and flew across an entire ocean to make this happen and now she was here and about to ruin everything.

"I mean, I honestly think she doesn't know you," Chidi said using calming tones. "I know you said you went to high school with her but-"

"We DID go to the same high school," Eleanor snapped. "This whoooooole thing is just an act to make me feel un-superior. Honestly, if you met me in high school do you think you would forget me?" Eleanor ranted

"Well-"

"Trust me, pal. Once you switch bodies with someone, fight jello dragons and then go halv-sies on a packet of boxers when you turn into guys? You don't forget that person."

"... What kind of high school did you go to?"

It was then that Tahani entered the room. As usual she was all smiles and perfection. "Oh! Hello, Chidi. Eleanor. I hope we didn't get off on the wrong foot yesterday. I know it's hard to forget someone like me. I'm afraid you must not have made an impression on me."

Chidi wisely took a step back.

Eleanor's eyes narrowed. Fortunately going to Fandom had prepared her for this moment. "That's okay, Tahani. I'm sure Kamilah would have remembered. I bet her memory is much better than yours."

It was then that Tahani's smile slightly faltered.

Eleanor didn't know it but that moment cost her 30 points. If she did, it still would have been worth it.

**********

It was a tense moment. One that was of course broken by Jason Mendoza.

"Yo, you should listen to me. I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed."

Everyone stopped and looked curiously at Jason in disbelief. Except Eleanor.

For some reason she really missed Wayne at that moment.

***********

This was it. Humanity was about to be erased by the Judge. The soul squad had a plan, one that would allow humanity to improve in the afterlife and eventually get to the good place. There was only one obstacle and his name was Shawn.

"Nope," Shawn said throwing a dish on the ground and watching it shatter into pieces. "I mean it's a good idea but I'll never agree to it."

"Because we came up with it," Michael said mournfully.

"That would be it," Shawn agreed cheerfully as he smashed another plate on the ground.

Eleanor sighed. "All right then. I didn't want to do this but I'm going to have to pull a page from Tahani Al-Jamil's playbook."

Tahani immediately looked confused. "You are? What page is this and in what playbook?"

"It's simple," Eleanor said as she pulled out the cellphone Janet had created for her. "I'm going to talk to Shawn's manager."

Tahani immediately started to fan her face and wiped away a single tear of joy. "I'm so proud."

Shawn snorted in disbelief.

Eleanor just smiled as the person on the other line picked up. "Hello, Lucifer Morningstar?"

Michael and Shawn's jaws dropped. "You know him?"

"Remember the time in high school I took a gremlin bite for you? Well I'm calling in the favor."

Chidi just stared in disbelief. "... What kind of high school did you go to again?"


************

Eleanor will return to Fandom next week. Looking forward to hanging with you all again.